Sophea's Story

Getting to know my coworkers at PSP has been a true joy! Lots of learning and laughs have been shared by all. Most our conversations are about our daily lives, their spouses or children, and many questions for Meghan about why she isn’t married! Because of the devastation during Pol Pot’s Regime (if you don't know about it, read up to better understand before continuing below), I never asked too many questions about family history. After my father and I visited Toul Sleng Museum, I began speaking with one of my only female colleagues, Sophea about my thoughts of S-21 and she opened up to me in a way I wasn't prepared for and significantly opened my eyes.

Sophea was in her mothers’ womb when Pol Pot's Regime began. Out of everyone in her immediate and extended family, 53 were tortured and killed, leaving only her mother, herself and her uncle. At the time even, her uncle had a son studying in Germany and he was tortured until he agreed to bring his son back to Cambodia to join the regime. Upon his arrival, they killed him, and her uncle lives the repercussions of his decision everyday. This made me immediately think of my family as both sides are quite large, with many aunts, uncles and cousins galore which quickly brought tears to my eyes. Sophea was eventually born into nothing. Her family was gone, their long time hard work in the fields and building family businesses were ruined. She grew up uneducated and scraping for anything to get by.

Once she was older, her mother arranged a marriage with a longtime colleague saying he was a good man and he would be a good husband for her. They never dated before the wedding, nor were they in love. The date was set, guest list made and day’s events were arranged. After being married for a year, they had a son, a beautiful son. One year later, he left his family because he had a new Cambodian girlfriend. He recently moved with his girlfriend to Australia and is putting Sophea through custody battles from hell trying to take their son since she doesn’t have much money. He has not once supported them since he’s left and the battle keeps getting drawn out.

On top of that, she is searching for a new place to live in Phnom Penh with her mother and her son. When I told her I was moving out of my place, she lit up with excitement! I asked her what her price range was and she said she was looking to pay $50/month for rent. The place I currently live in is $250/month and I couldn’t bring myself to even tell her that. I let her know my landlords were raising the prices of my place and don’t think they would rent it for that amount. It’s amazing for me to think about all the things I don’t have, compared to what I have at home, and she is looking to pay 20% of that.

To this day, she still wears her wedding ring and has her wedding day photos displayed on her computer when it becomes idle. I have never seen her cry, nor have I ever felt that she’s been upset. Each day she wears a smile and asks how I am doing. She’ll bring me fresh fruit she finds in the market because she wants me to try something new, and won’t accept any money in return. She is only one of millions of Cambodians that have suffered through the result of the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot’s regime and showed sympathy for me when I marched into work devastated when my purse and camera were stolen.

It’s hard for me to write this and not feel guilty for ever being upset or feeling pain over instances of what now makes me think are so childish compared to the daily struggles she endures. Sophea has truly opened my eyes. She is one of the sweetest, most selfless people I have ever met and am so thankful I’ve gotten to know her. Next time you feel like the world has come to an end or the worst has happened to you, think of Sophea, and life might not seem so bad after all.